Oy, Ping Pong!

My turtle keeps growing. He's huge. I'm not sure what to do with my favorite herp. Ping Pong is getting to be quite huge, he's definitely too big for his 40 gallon tank and I'm never home to take care of him properly. I always dreamed that one day I'd have the space to build my little guy a beautiful atrium with an indoor pond, inchworms for dinner and a shady banana tree.

Unfortunately, I'm just not quite there yet and so the Pong suffers from an absentee caregiver and a too-small glass apartment. Anyone in the market for a well-loved, reptilian friend?

NB: If I hadn't lost my camera I'd post a charming picture here.

General Malaise

I'm feeling ya.

Ello?

Are you still reading this thing?

So, sorry for the complete lack of posting here. Where the hell have I been? Well, I've been on the road, traveling here and there and up around and under and over and it's been exhausting and wonderful and nerve-wrecking and fun and exciting. I haven't had much time at home and I haven't had much time to write here and that makes me a little sad...just a little though.

Currently, I'm sitting at a German bar in the Portland, OR airport. I'm drinking a Bloody Mary, my new favorite drink. I used to hate them, mostly because of the tomato juice which I once despised with a passion. Lately, I've grown to the love the salty, spicy cocktail. It's also turned me on to green olives, which have always resided on my blacklist. So far, the Portland airport wins the airport award for best Bloody Mary. The best Bloody Mary I've had outside an airport was at the bar in Hotel Deca in Seattle.

Another recent theme in my life has been rain. This is a natural phenomena I've gladly become quite unfamiliar with living in Phoenix. Recently, my travel has brought me to the North-West and the the North-Mid where it's been raining and cold for the past two weeks. I'm trying to will this rain to California but I'm not sure that it's working just yet.

Life on the road these past months is teaching me a few lessons. The first is that it's totally worth the extra $50 a night to stay at a nice hotel. Nothing beats a tempurpedic mattress, L'Occitane bath products and a sunny workout room. The second is that it pays to check-in online and avoid the lines as much as possible at the airport. The third is....well, I haven't thought of a third yet. If you've got one for me, send it along.

Well, lovely reader(s), if you're still out there I'm sending you my thanks for tuning in. I can't promise that posting will be more regular or more exciting but I can promise that you'll find me here again some time in the near(ish) future.

Peace and love and safe travels to you all.
Muah!
B

Play Nice

At Sky Harbor, wearing my favorite travel shirt.



...to remind myself as much as others.

Funny, I ran into my airport arch nemesis the other day. Actually, it wasn't that much of a coincidence as I often travel through this gate at this terminal. She works at Starbucks and doesn't seem to benefit from the caffeine high that so many Bucks employees exude at the register. This women is rather mean (and I can't totally blame her I would be too if I worked in the airport Starbucks). But, damn! Last week, I bought a chai and a water from her. She didn't see the water and so had to charge me separately for it. No problemo.

The problem happened when she was counting out change from my first transaction and because I had given her some change, she was all confused about how much to give back to me and so she sat counting the change in her hand for a minute before realizing that what I gave her amounted to her changing me a whole dollar. This dollar was supposed to be in addition to $5 change. Well, she swore that she had given me the $5 even though she hadn't. So, in total, I ended up spending about $12 on a chai and a bottle of water. Argh.

The other day though, as I approached the counter, this time to order an iced tea lemonade, I looked down at my wee chest and took it's message to heart. I even gave Ol' County McFrownerson a tip, reminding myself that good things happen to good people.

heck yes

What a fun weekend this has been! The weather finally broke here in the PHX and it's been a balmy 95 degrees today, finally making outdoor activities less likely to induce death by heat stroke.

It actually rained on Saturday. We had those funny desert showers where it pours rain for 10 minutes and then the skies open-up into beautiful half-cloud canvases of intense shadows and great light. Below are some pictures from my Saturday hike on the Peralta trail in the Superstition Mountains and my Sunday play date at Papago Park. Most of them, obviously, have been digitally enhanced or filtered in some way.


Canyon


Weaver's Needle


Lovers Rock


Lone Tree


Papago Hole


Hairy Palm Trees


TURTLES!

my spots, oddly enough

So, Amy did this quiz and I took it too. Based on your answers to a bunch of questions about your lifestyle and your dream environment. I thought the locations that came up in my quiz results were not necessarily what I would have come up with, but maybe I'm missing something.

Salisbury, Maryland
Milwaukie, Oregon
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Hagerstown, Maryland
St. Helens, Oregon
Essex, Connecticut
Portland, Oregon
Astoria, Oregon
Berkeley Springs, West Virginia
Morgantown, West Virginia
Nantucket, Massachusetts
Burlington, Vermont
Middlebury, Vermont
Brattleboro, Vermont
Northampton, Massachusetts
Lincoln City, Oregon
Newport, Oregon
Easton, Maryland
Silver City, New Mexico
Kahului-Wailuku, Hawaii
Carlsbad, New Mexico
Makawao-Paia, Hawaii
Gardnerville-Minden, Nevada
Las Vegas, Nevada

I'm not entirely sure what to think of this list. I would never in a million years want to live in Las Vegas, that's for sure. I could do Vermont, Oregon or Hawaii in a heartbeat. West Virinia would be cool and you might catch me in New Mexico. I highly doubt, however, that I could be won-over by Maryland, Massachusetts or Connecticut.

It's certainly given me some things to think about.

Here's a link to the survey if you want to check it out.
http://www.findyourspot.com

Holy Annoyance!

I've currently been on hold with US Air for 19 minutes and 52 seconds. Before that I talked to a dumbass on the main line at US Air for a good 10 minutes and then got hung-up on over and over again trying to navigate the automated system for this alternate number. Before that I was on the phone with Orbitz for 35 minutes and my bank for 12. So far absolutely nobody has been able to help me with a seemingly easy task.

You see, I got double charged for some airfare I recently booked. Should be simple enough to correct, right? Apparently not. After listening to two people reading the same stupid script to me about how they only charge once and I should call my to dispute the charge, I did just that. My bank says in order to dispute the charge I have to file a fraud claim which makes my debit card inactive and takes a gazillion years to process. This is a ridonculous waste of my time! I should just suck-up the $200 loss but now I'm pissed that I've wasted over an hour of my life dealing with this B.S. I hate these corporate fuckers.

I am an Orphan Girl

Well, not really. I have parents, and lucky for you, this post isn't about them.

This post is about the band Crooked Still. I've been listening to them for ages now and I've never had the opportunity to see them live. I just love them though. They take a lot of the traditional American folk and bluegrass songs and totally infuse them with a brand new sound, unique to them.

Unlike a lot of other "newgrass" bands, their songs move so gracefully. A lot of it has to do with the fact that they're entirely unplugged; no electric instruments and no drums. This doesn't slow them down though, Gregory Liszt on banjo keeps the songs rolling along with a beat you can't help but bob your head to and Rushad Eggleston on the cello provides this amazing resonant dimension. Of course, the music would be naught without Aoife O'Donovan's smooth and sweet vocals. I just love this band and so I think you should check them out.

If you already know about and love Crooked Still make sure you check out all the bands they're affiliated with like The Wayfaring Strangers, Sometymes Why and The Mammals.

Yet Another One Bites the Dust

I was outside sweeping my back porch (aka slab of concrete) when I came across two very big, very complex spider webs. One of them was under a chair and the other was under a table. I don't know how these things get spun so quickly, it seems I'm swatting them away every week.



The web under the chair was occupied by a juicy black widow spider. This is not the first black widow to make her home in the surrounds of mine. And, I hate to say, it will not be the last. Last time the bug man was here (nary a month ago) he found 4 black widows in the backyard and in the garage.

I'm becoming quite paranoid of these deadly little creatures and have become prone to jumping at the sight almost any bug, thinking now that each tiny creature I come across in this desert landscape is reading a poison just for me. I'm not ready to die yet, people!

I guess it's time to call the bug man again. I really hate killing living creatures and it's completely against my sensibilities to spread noxious chemicals all over my home and the ground outside. It's just not right. I don't know what other choice we have though except to accept death by lethal spider bite.

If you or anyone you know has an organic recommendation for the removal of deadly spiders from the home, please let me know.

Not a Badass

This is a picture of me atop a little outcrop on South Mountain.



Two seconds later, I spied the colony of giant flying ants that I was strutting around on and promptly eeked out a girlish scream and ran down the mountain flailing my arms like a sissy.

Lipton's Questions

Because my brain is about to explode and I don't have much room for anything more creative right now.

What is your favorite word? yes

What is your least favorite word? guilt

What turns you on? brains

What turns you off? judgement

What sound or noise do you love? leaves blowing on branches

What sound or noise do you hate? tin foil on teeth

What is your favorite curse word? shitballs

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? farmer

What profession would you not like to do? tofu taster

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “lady, step into my hyundai"

cheshire fair

I've been up in NH for the past couple of days and am feeling much better about the the state of my world. Last night I went to the Cheshire County Fair out in Swanzey. Nothing makes you feel better about your life than wading through a sea of Nascar jerseys and unfortunate haircuts. Highights of the evening included the steer pull and a kick-ass corn dog.

Here are some pictures I've been playing around with:

apathetic

Am feeling a void lately but I'm not sure why. I don't want to be home, I could care less about seeing my family this week, I seem unable to tackle the mounting list of work that's piling up around me, I've hardly talked to any of my friends about coming home, I'm anxious and weepy and indifferent. So, I'm sitting in the airport feeling sorry for myself and blankly staring at the business men and nuclear families walking past me, wondering where my purpose went.



When I get to New Hampshire today, I'm renting a car and driving north. Everyone else can suck it; I need to fix this.