woman problems

I think I put Zack over the edge today when detailing all the trials and tribulations of my woman problems this month. It's hard though when your boyfriend is your only friend within a 1000 mile radius.

It's just that over the past few months I've been experiencing some severe PMS. I was in Bakersfield last night and, for those that haven't had the joy, it's not the nicest place to visit in CA. The hotel I was staying at was a shithole that reek like butts and had a rickety faucet. I went out in search of a grocery store or something for dinner that didn't come with french fries. What I found was a bail bonds store, a funeral parlor, a Frosty King, and about a million car dealerships. I came back to my hotel crying over my bad luck and even worse accommodations. I blame my intense emotional reaction on pms.

All day today my pants have been tight, my back aching, my head throbbing, and I can't seem to stop ingesting food either covered in mayonnaise or chocolate (and I normally hate mayo!). Sometimes it's just hard to be a woman.

So, I've also found that after 3 months of intensive traveling and working non-stop that I've been neglecting my body. I've been eating out way too often and not finding healthy alternatives nearly enough. Working out has become but a distant memory in my daily routine and I've been smoking butts like a champion. But, I've got one more week left of traveling after this one. Then, I'm working at home for the rest of the month. I'll be traveling home for one of those weeks so I guess I'm really only working from home for a week and a half. BUT, I've got to get on track in that week and a half. I want to get my healthy bod back!

wireless

Yesterday I got us all fixed'em'up with wireless. Now I can type away and surf whilst watching the Pats on our comfy new couch. It's so nice not to be tied to the desk! The best thing about this new technology in our house is that we can both be working online at the same time.

I'm on my way to Fresno, Bakersfield, and San Luis Obispo this week for work. It's going to be a long and busy week with lots of traveling between visits. Hopefully, my rental car will have a cd player. I've lucked out the past few times I've rented cars and have been able to upgrade for free. This time it would be key. I'd much rather be driving around central CA in a convertible or a sports car rather than a Ford Focus or something similar.

I've found that traveling for work takes a lot more planning than I had originally anticipated. Not only do I have to figure out what I'm going to wear for 4 days along with jewelry and shoes, but I also have to plan for everything I'm going to need for work. It usually takes me a whole day just to get everything all set. Hopefully it'll get easier with time.

Well, I guess I'll get to fixing up some Thanksgiving leftovers for lunch. One thing I really love about Thanksgiving food is that you can fill-up your plate and mix everything together and it takes amazing. Who'd have thought turkey mixed-up with green beans and squash would be so tasty!

Thanksgiving at the Grand Canyon

So I wrote this whole long post about how having Thanksgiving with friends and your loved one is so amazing. It waxed poetic about the giving of thanks, about being grateful for all that we are blessed with, and about the joys and wonders of being able to spend a whole day in the kitchen chopping, baking and basting. It was lost though so I'll just list the all the epicurian creations that my dear friend Kate and I made this Thanksgiving.

-Turkey with parsley, garlic, lemon, and pepper
-Cornbread stuffing with sage, carmelized onions, and sausage (one veg as well)
-Garlic Mashed Potatoes
-Turkey Gravy
-Squash with honey and cinnamon
-Baked sweet potatoes topped with marshmellows
-Fresh green bean caserole
-Crescent Rolls
-Cranberries
-Pumpkin AND Blueberry Pie

We spent the whole day in the kitchen dancing, cooking, and drinking. It was lovely. The day culminating in our big feast complete with friends, candles, and inappropriate dinner converation. I couldn't have asked for more. I felt so blessed to have spent this holiday with good friends. While it was hard to be so far away from our families, it was so good to be in the company of our chosen family.

The day before Thanksgiving we drove up to the Grand Canyon. I love the Grand Canyon. It is a sacred place that I have treasured since the first day I stepped foot on the rim. It's very hard to describe the vast depths, the intense and definied layers of color, and far reaching opposite rim. It was Zack and Kate's first time at the canyon and I was thrilled to see their experssions and their wonder at what could create such a vast and beautiful natural wonder. Next time we go, we will definitely plan to spend a few days hiking and/or rafting. It's not a place you can experience fully from the rim. Below are a few pictures from our little adventure.

cha-ching

So it turns out that Arizona has one of the highest rates of identity theft in the US. I guess I can understand it as crime here is so over the top and everywhere you look. I went to the band to open a new account with my first check from my new job. My old NH bank doesn't exist out here unfortunately.

Well, turns out that for the first month of my account they put a hold on every check I deposit. This means that I can't access my money for a like 2 weeks! Geesh! It seems a little over the top. I wish I had realized this sooner because now I'm broke even though I've got money in my account.

Such frustration!

At least it's Thursday (and my birthday) which means I fly home tonight. Santa Barbara is awesome and I'm so glad I've had such a productive time here in such a beautiful place. But, I can't wait to get home to my little love nest where I can unpack the 10 boxes of books that arrived while I was gone. I'm looking forward to laying out by the pool and maybe playing some tennis with my sweetie.

However, it looks like we might be having Spamish Rice for Thanksgiving if I don't get this money situation figured out!

Santa Barbara

I smelled Sequoia today for the first time. The scent is overwhelming, fresh and a little nutty. I wish my camera worked so that I could take pictures of all these new surroundings.

Santa Barbara is a beautiful town. It's a lot like Portsmouth actually but in a very West Coast way. The streets in town are lined with posh shops and restaurants. There was a Farmer's Market going on today, musicians on the streets and people everywhere.

The salty sea breeze takes me home automatically. I knew I was going to miss the ocean living in Arizona, but I didn't realize how much I missed it until I smelled the sea breeze here this afternoon. I miss the salty coves and sea life of the New Hampshire coast. I miss standing on the beach with my feet in the sand and the surf rumbling below.

I've got two more busy days here and then it's back home!

Hi, Internerd!
Long time, so typey. So sorry! I have been busy, you see, very busy. When we last talked I had accepted the new job and was planning the move to AZ. Well, here I am!

Scottsdale is beautiful! Zack and I are living in a perfect little one bedroom. It's definitely a big change moving from the quaint streets of New England to the palm trees and cacti of Arizona. While I miss it intensly, there is a wide wonderful world to explore out here. Everything is SO BIG! The mountains, the sky, the canyons, the desert. It's breathtaking.

I've got a ton to share and it will all come out in time. I'm already on the road for my job and have a lot of traveling in front of me for the next few weeks. In the midst of learning a new job, unpacking, reveling in newfound bliss of my domestic partnership, and traversing the wild canyons of the southwest I will update my little blog with new pictures, stories, and words.

Much love to all the readers who haven't abandoned me just yet!
peace,
B

so damn lucky

I am one lucky woman. I haven't talked about it too much on here as I try to mix work with my blog, but in addition to my regular 9-5, for the past year I've lived and worked in a Bed and Breakfast. It's in a creaky old house with uneven wood floors, crumbling chimneys, and chipped paint. It's the most comfortable and inviting place I've ever lived. Sally owns the Inn is one of the most amazing women I've ever met. She started this business on her own with two little ones at her heels. Over the years she built a solid foundation on sourdough blueberry pancakes, good conversation, and an open door. I can't count how many people have come to her for a hot cup of coffee, a warm bed, a wedding or an anniversary, a job, a home, a family.

Sally has done more for me than she will ever know probably. She welcomed me into her home, her business, her family. She's my othermother--the woman I came to when my parents separated, when my boyfriend and I broke up, when I quit my job. Always with a cup of tea, Sally has been there to offer support and encouragement. She gave me the opportunity to realize my dream of being an Innkeeper. This experience has sparked a desire within me to have my own Bed and Breakfast one day. I want to bake bread, grow herbs, and decorate rooms. I want to tend a garden, make cheese, and run my own business. It all seems so much more plausible now that I've experienced it firsthand.

I'll be very sad to leave the Inn. I've complained countless times about snobbish guests, the imperfections of an old house, the incessant bell and reservation requests at 11:00pm. But, these inconsequential things were a tiny price to pay for all the summer nights on the back porch overlooking the rose arbor, for skip (or stumble)into town, for the 'family' dinners, for the fresh baked coffee cake, for the fresh herbs and raspberries, and for the fireside friendships. I'm now just one of the people in a long line who have become part of this Inn, and for that I am forever grateful.

it started with a chill in the air

it started with a chill in the air

the sneezing began
bless you, bless you
a million times an hour

the nose began to drip
like water from a leaky faucet
a tissue served as a dam

the stuffy head floated
far from reason and numbers
the eyes stared blankly at the screen

chills ran through to the bone
blankets heaped on blankets
mouth breathing through the night

woke to partched and swollen throat
the day dragged by
sleepy head began to pound

lots of tea but little pee
a stuffy nose and achy bones
i'm too busy to be sick

the incident

On Saturday night we went to see The String Cheese Incident at the Hampton Casino Ballroom. I know I've mentioned my love of the Ballroom on here before, but let me reiterate how much I love this place. I love it!

Cheese is a dancing band. I love their music but I don't tend to listen to them that often. However, in a live setting, they break it down. Their Caribbean melodies paired with African beats and a hint (or sometimes an overwhelming gulp) of bluegrass get the feet moving. I was bouncing up and down like a pogostick for hours. Unfortunately, we missed the opener which apparently was a very cool African drum ensemble.

During the first song of the second set a beautiful African woman took the stage dancing in wide rhythms with big arms and powerful legs. It was inspiring. I am definitely going to look for a modern African dance class when I get out west. I haven't taken a dance class since I was in middle school, but over the years the idea has become more prominent in my mind.

All the dancing got mixed with a lot of kissing as my boy is finally home. It is unbelievable to wake up next to him, to see his smiling eyes from across the room, to fall into his hug. I am a very lucky woman. We are truly blessed.

Speaking of blessings, here are a couple of pictures of my sister's baby Abigail. Isn't she beautiful!?!





Don't I look motherly here? She looks terrified.

gasp

I swore to myself almost 3 years ago that I would never, ever do this. I would not live with a man unless I was married. End of discussion.

However, I find myself in quite the opposite frame of mind these days and I'm actually feeling quite excited about the prospect of living under the same roof as my beau.

You see, I had a bad experience a few years back. In my last year(s) of college I dated a boy who had previously dropped out. He was a good hearted guy and we had a lot of fun together. However, he had a temper, couldn't hold a job and had no qualms about living off his woman. For some reason I thought it would be good for us to live together. After graduating college I got a job working for an educational publisher in Boston. It was my dream job and I was very excited about opening the doors to the publishing world and starting my career. He worked at spa store in Nashua, NH. It was the only job he'd been able to hold for more than a few months since we were together and we decided it was important for us to live somewhere in between our two 'offices'.

In between turned out to be Ayer, Massachusetts. At first glance it was perfect. A nice enough one bedroom apartment a few blocks up from the train station, a nice enough town with a restaurant and a pool hall. For some reason I totally pressured myself to be all that I could be in domestication. After commuting an hour and 45 minutes both ways to my job I would come home and make some sort of meat and potatoes dinner, watch TV and pass out. On the weekends I would grocery shop, pay bills and clean house. My money was the only money that could be applied to household needs, bills, and rent.

My boyfriend at the time ended up going through 3 or 4 jobs, never holding down anything solid. I ended up loosing touch with a lot of my friends, alienating my family and I was so exhausted from the commute to work that I was getting migraines every other day. He spent his days hanging out at home building star wars lego ships while I busted ass to make a life for us. I finally snapped-to one day and kicked him out.

After that experience I promised myself that I would never move-in with a boy unless I was married to him. Now I've got this great opportunity for a new job out west. I've got to take it. But, I have this amazing man in my life that I'm not going to loose for anything. So, we'll move in together and I'll amend my original promise to myself.

I promise that in this incarnation of living with a boy I will:
-keep my friends and my social life!
-not do all of the cleaning
-cook what I want, when I want (which usually happens to be everything all the time)
-maintain an active lifestyle
-foster new friendships and community
-remain sexy and mysterious
-never take my relationship or my individuality for granted

The thing is I'm not worried about any of these things. Zack is truly an angel of a man. He encourages and supports me to be the best I can be in all areas of my life. He inspires me to be a better humanitarian, to foster relationships outside our own, to reach as far out as I can to live my dreams. This move is going to be hard for both of us, we're leaving a seriously comportable and cushy life here.

Amen.

this bag is not a toy

i'm dreaming

Whoa Nelly! I have been having some crizazy dreams lately. It could be a result of a few things:

1.) I'm so exhausted at the end of the day, I'm in bed by 10:30 and so have been getting about 9 hours of sleep a night.
2.) I've been sleeping solo (or with Obi Cat) for almost three weeks.
3.) I am STRESSED out.

Some of the interesting things that have popped into my dreamscapes over the past couple of days:

1.) Hot boys hand feeding me crumbly baked goods.
2.) Hot boys playing music for me.
3.) Winning a pogostick-down-a-flight-of-spiral-stairs competition against hot boys.
4.) Drinking hot boys under the table.
5.) Being part of street gang, getting involved in a skirmish at a convenient store, whipping out a cell-phone gun, shooting a AAA battery into a chip display, resulting in a huge explosion, almost shooting hoy boy by mistake.

Notice any themes?

thoughts on aid

I was talking to Zack last night about how things are going at the center where he's volunteering. The crowd of people is beginning to change. Over the past two weeks he's met some amazing people with amazing stories. Families broken up with houses ruined, people in serious need of money to help them rebuild their lives. These folks have been so kind to him and are truly appreciative of the aid they are receiving (however insufficient it may seem).

It seems though that now the word is out that people in these counties can receive free money. The attitude is changing. People are more demanding and condescending there because they feel they are entitled to this free money. I don't understand how someone with a home intact, a steady income and a family united can stand next to someone who has lost so much and actually feel okay about taking handouts from charitable organizations. Do they actually think that they fall into the same class as those who were directly affected by the hurricane? Do they think there is an unlimited supply of money to be given out from the Red Cross? I hope these people realize what they're taking, who they are affecting, and how their attitudes are influencing the people around them.

I am especially worried for those in poor rural communities in Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas. How are people supposed to rebuild without a local economy? There are so many people out there who were scraping to get by before and now that their internal commerce has been wiped out, they really have no hope of rebuilding on their own. I hope that organizations like Habitat for Humanity will find these little towns and help these sweet southerners. They have taken such good care of my boyfriend and all the other volunteers down there. Their hearts are big, their spirituality fierce, and their communities strong. I pray that God is watching out for them, that the government realizes the need for aid, and that other volunteers give their gracious time and energy there to help these small rural communities get back on their feet.