patience

i came across the following excerpt here (see some pretty cool art that compliments this passage):

Being means: not numbering and
counting but ripening like a tree, which
doesn't force its sap, and stands
confident in the storms of spring not
afraid that afterward summer may not
come. It does come. But it comes only to
those who are patient, who are there as
if eternity lay before them, so
unconcernedly silent and vast. I learnt it
every day of my life, learn it with pain I
am grateful for: patience is everything

-Ranier Maria Rilke

this stuck with me. 'ripening like a tree which does not force its sap'. i love the imagery.

i struggle with patience every day. patience when the cat digs up a plant, patience to let my tea cool before slugging it, patience to wait for the end of the work day. it's a struggle to get through those agonizing minutes waiting for my fish sticks to broil when a perfectly new-to-me rerun of 7th heaven has just started and i want to be filling my growling belly while my brain is numbed by sugary moral problem solving and well spoken Christian family values. when i ordered my new computer, i wanted it right then and there. when dell told me it would be late, i practically threw a temper tantrum. but, here it is today and my computer has arrived safe and sound and lovely. lately, along with my fellow new englanders, i've been consumed by the prospect of spring. i just can't bear to lift the snow shovel or walk on icy sidewalks for another day! with each snowflake or ice chunk that falls, i feel my blood pressure rising and my hope for warmer days dampening.

and yet, i have no choice but to wait. and in waiting i think there are lessons to be learned.

my jumping dance in front of the oven won't make my dinner cook any faster. screaming at my yahoo mail account won't make my computer arrive any sooner. my incessant whining and moping will not urge mother nature to switch-up the seasons. in this realization there is freedom. if i can learn to take a deep breath at the onset and give these situations up to the universe, i will be relieving myself of so much stress and inner chaos. of course, this is much easier said than done.

from now on though, i am going to try to appreciate the beauty of winter. this last soggy snow storm brought us beautiful frosted pine trees and rooftops. the sun reflecting off the crystalline new snow is brighter than any sunny beach day. there is beauty to be appreciated here, in the everyday. if i can just slow down enough and thwart my focus from my immediate physical and psychological wants, i will stand more confident of my place in this world this world just like the tree.