Monday, April 30, 2007

Craving the Sauce

I had the best wings ever at a bar in my neighborhood the other day. They were crispy, tender and dripping in a tangy hot sauce that set my taste-buds ablaze. It was fabulous and I've been distracted with a craving for more ever since.

I'd smear buffalo sauce on a pancake today if if I had both a pancake and buffalo sauce. Since I have neither, I'll settle for a bowl of cereal.

Friday, April 20, 2007

spending all your money on me

People always tell me that I look like Alanis. I can kinda see the resemblance, especially when she's shaking her white girl booty just like I do on the daily.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I Say, You Do. No Questions

I just caught a fly with my fist while reclining on the couch with a beer in my left hand, laptop in lap and eyes to screen. I kid you not.

We left the windows and door open for a while this weekend and now our house has about 5 4 black flies buzzing around. Tres annoying. Must practice Karate Kid moves to eradicate the other pillagers.

Update: Oh, snap! I just demolished another one.

Monday, April 16, 2007

International Greetings


I love SiteMeter! Someone from Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh India was here looking at this website yesterday. Uttar Pradesh is the most populated state in India with over 175 million residents. Only 1 out of 4 females is literate (says wikipedia). Lucknow is the capitol of Uttar Pradesh and sits along the banks of the river Gomti and is a political and cultural hub with a long (over 4,000 years!) history. It's often coined the 'Golden City' for the emotional warmth of the people and the sophisticated dedication to gracious living. It sounds absolutely lovely and I'm adding Lucknow to my list of Must Visit places around the globe.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

getting old

Long gone are the days when my roommate and I would load a 30-pack of Beast in our backpacks and head out for an evening. Nary an evening do I find my lips on tap, feet in the air doing keg stands while an enthusiastic crowd of binge drinkers counts the number of seconds I guzzle foamy beer. The days of beer bongs and beer pong are, for the most part, a thing of the past. My friends don't come over to play asshole anymore and drinking Monopoly is merely a blink in the mind's eye.

My body just can't handle the wrath of drinking to excess anymore. It's too crushing a blow to wake-up with an overhang, knowing my plans for a sunny Saturday morning have been swindled by my after-hours indiscretions. The headaches are crippling, the queasy tummies unbearable and my brain turns to a case of space. I must be getting old.

Friday, April 13, 2007

A Letter To My Peoples

Dear Peoples,

I think I owe you an apology, for this space has become a dry wasteland of engaging narrative lately. I feel like I'm lacking creativity in a severe way right now and I need a shot of inspiration espresso, if you will. And so, I'm turning to you. Tell mama what it is you want to read about today.

Since I'm having trouble forming complete sentences and constructing meaningful paragraphs, I put together a list of interesting and uninteresting things I've done this week.

*Watched a Pelican dive-bomb into the Pacific ocean.
*Jogged uphill
*Ate deep-fried Strawberries
*Started The Unbearable Lightness of Being
*Smoked cigarettes (yuck!)
*Accomplished goals at work
*Got my computer back! Complete with new and fully-functioning hard drive!
*Kissed a boy
*Drank approximately 19 cups of coffee
*Listened to Neil Young
*Fell asleep on the beach
*Sang in the car
*Watched the sunset from an airplane window
*Spread Nutella on a french pastry at a sidewalk cafe
*Swam laps at the pool
*Wrote a letter

Things I have not done include laundry, unpacking or bill-paying.

Don't forget to send in your requests for writing, dear friends. I look forward to hearing from you.


Sunday, April 08, 2007

Happy Easter

bunny butt
(thanks, Amber!)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Spartan Spirit

I just recently saw the movie 300 and am still wiping the drool from my dropped jaw. Lemme tell you, those Spartans were ripped. What a large group of perfect physiques running around with swords in speedos. The movie was excessively violent with gratuitous nipple shots; the sweaty pecs and abs really just rounded it right out.

I couldn't find a clip of Spartan Spirit, so I leave you with a word from El Presidente'.

Temperature in Phoenix right now: a lovely 92 degrees.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Craving Colorado

Crested Chapel

Right now I'm craving an open meadow, lush with green grass and dotted with Colorado wild flowers. I want to take a trip on horseback through the foothills and camp under a grove of Aspens at 10,000 feet above sea level. I've always wanted to live out my Calamity Jane/Wild West fantasy, traipsing along bubbling streams and immersing myself in the plants and animals that burst to life when the weather warms there. This might just be the summer to do it.

All I need to do is find myself a trusty bay stallion.