Tuesday, September 20, 2005

sigh

This weekend was so full of life lessons, I feel I've grown exponentially as a person in the past few days. Overwhelming and exhausting though it has been, I'm so thankful to have experienced these moments.

I attended the wedding of two good friends on Saturday. They married in a simple ceremony by a pond, surrounded by trees, flanked by arrangements of flowers and hopes. Mrs. Audet is perhaps the most beautiful woman I know. She is pure of heart and spirit that sparkles through her eyes. It was humbling to watch my friends exchange emotional vows and pledge their lives to one another. It reaffirmed my faith in love and commitment in a blessed and sacred moment.

The reception too was an awesome example of what's most important at a wedding. Good friends, a kick-ass band, a gorgeous natural setting, and lots of dancing. The food was absolutely unbelievable. I wish I had photographed the giant wheel of baked Brie or the fresh swordfish and corn salad. Damn, it was good. The number of guests was just right, you couldn't find an air of pretention in anyone there, and the celebration and well wishing of the couple was sincere and lovely.

I found myself thanking God so many times that I was able to be there with my boyfriend. He is such a blessing in my life. I'm thankful that, at this point in my life, I've grown internally to cherish and nurture our relationship on physical, spiritual, and mental levels. I think back to my days of living the single life early last summer, to drunken nights and flings with my friendboys. It was an unhealthy time for me emotionally, I didn't feel like I could stand on my own feet alone and I didn't have enough respect for myself to make the boys I liked play by the rules. This weekend though something switched over in my mental conscious. Things have changed, and I think (hope) they'll remain that way regardless of whether I'm involved with someone or not. This isn't a judgment thing by any means. I could give a rat's patootie what my girls and boys are doing on their own time. Ya'll go on and get that bootie!

The other really empowering lesson I learned was in letting go. Zack left for Montgomery, Alabama yesterday to volunteer with the Red Cross. He's been prepared and waiting for weeks and finally got the call. It's hard to imagine him down there, not knowing what he'll be doing or whether he'll be safe. It's hard to imagine my life without him for the next three weeks. I know though that this is the beginning of a new chapter in his (and possibly my) life. The recovery and rebuilding of the affected Gulf Coast region is a movement in which we both want to participate, to help, to support. It's liberating and inspiring. I'm finding myself wanting to shed the layers of stuff that keeps me tied here. I'm wanting to get out and do something.

I've heard Louisiana is lovely in winter.