Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Overachieving Identity Crisis

I am realizing lately that I have a real problem with needing not only acceptance but praise. It's not good enough for me to be pleased with the job I've done; I want others to recognize it too. It's really unhealthy to put so much stock in what others think but I'm not sure how to get around it.

This issue has always underlined my work in school and in my job. I'm constantly striving to succeed. I never really thought about it much though with regards to this blog though. For almost two years, I've used this platform to express my thoughts and opinions, to share stories and photos and random tidbits that are interesting only to me.

This NaBloPoMo thing has got my knickers all up in a tizzy because now I'm subjecting, asking for this personal space to be judged. Rashenbo is reviewing the participants by alpha category and my blog didn't get a mention. Out of the 61 blogs beginning with the letter 'B', mine did not stand out. Does it mean I can't play with the big girls? Should I throw in the towel right now? If we don't make an impression amongst 61, what are the chances we'll stand out amongst 600?

Now, I really like all the blogs that she picked and I'm really annoying myself even whining about my insecurities. I'm actually enjoying being a part of this contest. One awesome thing about it is finding so many new, funny and thoughtful with which to expand my horizons.

This unknown blog is not about winning contests or attracting millions of adoring readers. It's about having a place where I can write and share my thoughts with everyone and nobody. And for this place, I am grateful.

3 comments:

123Valerie said...

B,

You stand out to me.

A said...

I'm just buzzing through the randomizer and - guess what?! - yours caught my eye. :)

Rashenbo said...

Brinki,

Blogs are so subjective, pretty much the same is true of life, what one person likes... another hates. I like chocolate... some folks don't *gasp*.

YOu have a nice and lovely blog. My intention of going through the blogs on the list was first and foremost to just visit all the participants so they'd all get a visit. Then as I was visiting I realized some stood out to me for some reason and I decided to share that with my readers.

You are completely correct with your last statement, it's not about attracting readers... it is about having a space of your own to enjoy and share a part of yourself.

Cheers to you and I look forward to seeing your blog again.