Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Orphic Conjecture

rock


One of the most important keys to living a truly happy and successful life is fostering honesty in ourselves. Lately, I've been more cognizant of the energy I attract. I am learning that when you recognize some responsibility for things you once thought were out of your control, you can let them go and see a in truer light. I tend to attract a certain kind of situation for myself, especially in relationships. I go from long-term relationship to long-term relationship, which in itself isn't a bad thing, I'm not complaining. I've had so many joyous times with gorgeous boys. But, there are some patterns that have emerged over time. I've often chalked it up to being too ambitious, too wild or too aloof. I seem to induce anxiety attacks and job-paralysis on perfectly calm and capable men. Each relationship has ended with me knowing that it's not going to work out but remaining in the comfortable spot of a mediocre partnership for a long while.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think this keeps happening. I will tell you though that the only consistent in the equation is me. Wow, I bet you didn't think you'd be reading all this personal shit about my life on the Internet today, did you?

In the end, I think it's beneficial for us all to think about what kind of energy we're putting out in the world. Are we mad behind the wheel of our icy cars stuck in miles of traffic? Or, are we floating down the open road with incense furling out the windows on a sunny, cloudless day? The beauty of the situation is that it's our choice.

1 comment:

Megan Jane said...

Damn straight, girl. It is our choice. And it is so nice to read your words. And I have a book I want to tell you about sometime...Caroline sent it to me. It connects all of us.
We still need to catch up.
I miss you, and I hope you are planning on seeing me this summer!